Just an ordinary day

When I started this little site of mine, I really hit the ground running. Then life sped up and writing took a backseat to the tiny nuances of the everyday world. I'm starting this blog at 8:36 AM and I have no idea where it will go. Perhaps it will be random words on a page. Maybe thoughts as they stroll in. Maybe just a list. This is my workday...

8:39- I forced myself into tolerating oatmeal about 3 months ago in my neverending quest to see 170 on the Weighmaster 2000. Three months later, this is the worst part of my workday.

8:46- Until about 4 months ago, I, admittedly, didn't take very good care of my teeth/gums. I spent a lot of money to correct that situation and now I'm back to square one. With oatmeal safely digested, I took the floss and toothbrush out of my personal drawer at my desk and went to work on the pearls. Contents of personal drawer, you ask? Two bottles of nasal spray, Visine, Airborne, a pain relieving patch, an inhaler, hair molding paste (that doesn't sound healthy), one a day vitamins, two rolls of floss, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and two packs of gum. The only thing missing is a toilet, a shower, and a rubber duckie.

10:16- Wednesday is training day. Today's topic was about document processing. Most of these trainings go about 45 minutes, but this one was a touch more extensive. Here's a rule of thumb for anyone involved in multiple meetings a week, and listen up because it's important. Never, ever, ever sit behind the guy doing all the talking. If you're stuck there, you're not afforded the liberty of an occasional doze-off or space out. This was my world for the past 75 minutes.

10:36- My world is being dictated by my allergies right now. They have total control and they know it. My allergies tell me to get up and blow my nose, I do it. Need me to tilt my head back/ You got it. Want me to put my thumb and index finger on both sides of my nose, as to make a pinching motion? No problem. I am completely at your mercy today. Awesome!

10:55- We have reached the point of my day when I catch up on the sports news of the world. I have been entreated by a special morning edition of the SportsGuy on ESPN. And the colored girls sing do do-do do-do do do do do...

11:09- Mmmmmm, string cheese...

11:10- I have reached goal for the week. There is no greater feeling than making goal while you're reading a nonsensical sports article on the company dime. And then I wiped the sweat off my brow with company stationary.

11:36- This is the part of the day (well Part I, anyway) where I start to feel the effects of waking up for the gym at 5:30 this morning. I hate that place. Right now, I kinda hate this place, too.

11:48- I just spent three minutes trying to come up with a Subject for an email. Ultimately, I did a cost benefit on the project and went with "Relyco Pressure Seal". This is why they pay me what they do, folks.

12:07- I'm a Maroon 5 guy, but just a minute ago, I officially got sick of listening to them. For good. To the IPod, and onto another guy whose songs all sound the same, Mr. Jack Johnson.

12:33- So, I was upstairs mulling over my lunch choice (tuna on multi), and a lovely, lovely young lady stands next to me. She's what my ideal would look like if I constructed her. She walks the delicate line between plain and fashionable. She's unassuming, yet confident. She makes my heart race. She asks me if I'm waiting in line, and while I'm thinking "No, but let me buy you lunch. My name is Scott", what actually comes out is "I can't decide. Go ahead of my if you'd like". Sure, that's gonna win her over. It's unconfirmed, but rumor has it I sounded like Barney the Dinosaur while saying it. That's the first and probably the last time I'll see that girl. And that, my friend(s), is why I'm single.

1:02- I think I'm Jack Johnson'ed, as well. I've never been enamored with him, but I wanted to take the new album out for a spin. Not surprisingly, it sounds just like the last album and the one before that and the two before that one.

1:14- I'm working on a quote for a major medical center and they just sent me the samples for what I need to quote, after a long layoff where I thought the account was dead. I swear, by my reaction, you would have thought it was nudy magazine day in the office. These are the things I get pumped over now.

1:59- Taking time away from my oh-so busy work schedule, I checked ESPN to see if the news had changed at all. I see that a US Senator has decided that he wants to launch an investigation into the New England Patriots videotaping practices. This is what the United States is paying Sen. Arlen Specter of PA for. Are you kidding me? I know that professional sports are big business, but how is this use of labor justified by the United States government? I need this story to finally go away after 9 grueling months, because I'm become a very, very cranky young man.

2:14- This is the time that I start to check out. My brother comes home from work, so I talk to him On The G (Google IM, for you AOLers). Also, I'm the commissioner of my fantasy baseball league, so the emails start to pour in for trade offers and lineup problems about this time in the afternoon. Right on cue...

3:02- I hate bill collectors. I have two bills that have been due for years now. It's actually gotten to a point where it's more beneficial to NOT pay them than it is to hand the money over. I just got back to back calls from both of them today. I actually had an ongoing conversation with one of them a few weeks ago. I do that sometimes when I'm bored. He anticipates that I'll come at him in a venomous manor and I end up just asking him about the weather and TV and what not. He became completely diffused.

3:34- Mmmmmm, string cheese...

3:37- I need a day off. This is exhausting.

4:03- http://nh.craigslist.org/car/680153347.html . That's all I have to say about that.

4:17- It has come to the time of day when I look around the room for things to occupy my time, making certain not to look any superiors in the eye for fear that they might find a chore for me. This is the life of a salesperson. Do as little as possible. The way I see it, this kind of action (or lack thereof) is what keeps me fresh when I get on the phone with someone. If only I could convince them of this.

4:27- Thanks for sticking with me through this arduous exercise called work. You've really made it go by a little faster, and I feel better about neglecting to write for the past couple of weeks. A rare double win! I'm usually a much better writer than this, but really, is there anything better than the voyeuristic viewpoint you've had into my daily life today? Probably.