Karma

Earl Hickey will tell you there's nothing stronger than the force of karma. Earl lives his life by crossing off bad deeds on a notebook sheet of paper in the hopes that karma will take care of him in the end. Of course, he learned about Lady Karma by watching a late night episode of Carson Daly, but that's besides the point.

Do unto others as you'd want done to you is the backbone of karma. Live by that credo, and I swear you'll win more than you lose. Yes, the Lady's a bitch sometimes. She's not always serving the needs of the good. I've done a lot of good deeds in my life and I have been fed some shitty luck. However, I've done some pretty shitty things in my life and have been abruptly rewarded for them, so as long as the good outnumbers the bad, the scoreboard says I'm winning.

Roger Clemens is a world class athlete. He's one of the most driven, iconic baseball players of all time. He has won 7 Cy Young Awards, one MVP Award, and a World Series. He has over 4600 strikeouts and 350 wins. So why has his life fallen apart in the past three months?

In 1984, Roger joined my beloved Red Sox and although he started slowly, by 1986 he had really hit his stride. Clemens went 24-4 that year on his way to the Cy Young and MVP awards. Even though he complained of a blister and asked out of Game 6 of the World Series, we knew that the Sox wouldn't have even been there if he hadn't put together one of the most dominating individual regular seasons in history.

Clemens gave us 12 good years and we loved him the entire time, maybe a little too much for a grown man to love another grown man. Roger got fatter in the early '90s as his wallet was getting equally fat. Then, in the three months leading up to free agency in 1996, he put together some phenomenal numbers just in time to sign on the dotted line. When the time came, Duquette thought he were in the "twilight" of his career, but Clemens proved him wrong by taking more money because, as he claimed, he wanted to play for a winner, even though Toronto was clearly on the decline. Roger won 2 Cy Young Awards in his two years there. Very impressive. Since then, he's won 2 more Cys and went to the Yankees and the Astros and back to the Yankees again.

Roger Clemens has won at least one Cy Young Award at each stop, and nobody likes him. Can you believe that? I can. And the reason is because Karma has a blind eye towards no one. Clemens lived a charmed life for 20 years, although it seems as if he was legitimately the competitor, family man, and sport ambassador for about 12 of those. Right around the age of 34, The Rocket began to use steroids and HGH to keep his competitive edge. Right around that time, he began to have sexual relations with a country singing, white trash hillbilly. Word has come down today that Clemens had sexual relations with John Daly's ex-wife. Although these are just allegations in the real world, there's nothing alleged about them in this blog, because I'm certain that all of these things happened. Roger decided at that point that he was above the sanctity of everything in America and was allowed to live by his own rules. Not so coincidentally, it was right about that time that Boston fans began to turn on him. We didn't know why we were doing it, but we did it, anyway. We know now.

I don't believe in any sort of organized religion. In my opinion, they're all cults. But I believe in karma. I believe that Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds will get what they deserve in time, as I believe that the guy who doesn't hold the door for the person behind him will get what he deserves, too.Think about what you do or don't do. Big Sister is probably watching, and she's more powerful than you are.