"Any guy north of 20 starts to deal with or has already dealt with saying 'okay, it’s time to stop being really good at being a young adult and let’s have the balls to be a rookie at being an adult' and with that comes a more substantial relationship with a girl that might not be some incredible arm piece but somebody you can actually get along with longer than sleeping with her a few times. Then maybe thinking about having a kid and maybe a better job. One you might not like as much but pays better and speaks more to the future. There’s that moment when a guys got to start flirting with being a man and it’s a little scary and you’re kind of left to do it on your own. You don’t have a teacher or a father probably in the house that’s sort of motivating you to do that. That’s a lot of self-motivation."
-Jason Bateman
This piece came across my desk today, and as if acting as a proverbial beam of sunlight, sent a fatherly message straight to my nodes. You see, I had an accident this past weekend. It was serious at that moment but everything's going to be A-OK and I'm thankful for that. That's not the point of this piece. When I came into work this morning and the subject of my accident came up, my fellow sales junkie pointed out that I was like a 9 year old, complete with sill accidents and chicken pox. I couldn't argue with him. And although he didn't mean it this way, I can't help but look at myself and think that the transformation from young adult to adult has taken me longer than the normal man.
I've wanted to make this turn for a long time and I never knew what to do. I have a brother that came from the same seeds as I did and he figured it out, so it couldn't have been that my parents missed a teaching lesson somewhere along the way. Nearly all of my friends have graciously taken the leap, so we couldn't have been avoiding the subject when I was growing up. No sir, this was my problem and my problem only.
About a year ago, I began to transition from what I had been to what I should be. I took the job for less money because the prospects were better. I stopped looking at each prospective date for what she was bringing to the table for today, and more for what she may offer tomorrow. I locked myself in more, made more dinners, and finally started a savings account. I paid down bills and stopped charging senseless purchases. I bought socks at TJ Maxx instead of Polo because, after all, THEY'RE SOCKS!!
But I still have yet to make the conscious choice that my parents and friends have been silently waiting for out of me. This choice forces you to man up, say the things that need to be said to the people that need to hear it, and to take responsibility for everything around you. As terrifying as this choice is, it creates power and confidence within and forces you to become better, socially and professionally, because when the mirror looks back at you, your face is the only one that shows up.
Today is the day when everything changes.
2 comments:
Here's the thing SMM, they might be looking at you for an answer- and in that case, they can wait all they want, you have to live with the choices you make.
OR, they might be looking at you with envy, because you've had the balls to wait until the time is right for YOU to make decisions. You aren't doing anything because someone had forced you into it. And that, my friend, takes a hell of a lot more courage to do than going with the "social norm" sometimes.
You will look back on these times one day and realize that the world was just as it should be for you. And standing in it might not have been a cake walk at the time, but it's setting up the cake walk for the future.
after all, THEY'RE SOCKS!!....exactly.
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